never too late

I’ve always wanted to play the piano as far as I could remember, however, I didn’t have that luxury when I was a kid because my dad was in the army and we moved every year or so. Well of course all sorts of excuse followed suit then.. until my husband gave me a piano as a gift for giving him a baby. Well, I hinted to him all throughout maternity that it was a dream to play the piano for our baby so when I got my gift a few months after lil’ Aisyah was born I was over the moon happy! It was an emotional gift, because it reminds me that it’s never too late to realize any dream, even as silly as learning how to play the piano after you’re 30. πŸ™‚
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Finding a tutor and accommodating my time for lessons in between my full time job as wife mom and career woman is excruciating! I managed to slot in a session every Wednesday then I skipped it too many times due to meetings and workload it was pointless to pay for my absence. Hence I quit for a while and the grand upright remained like a white elephant in our living room.
However, one day, as I was stuck in a traffic jam, I saw a small signboard advertising a piano tutor’s number by the roadside. I called for appointment and that was the beginning of an almost 2 year relationship with my tutor Alicia. I am a very slow learner. I could not memorize notes to save my life, but Alicia was patient and we work through songs that I like so it keeps me motivated. The time during lessons was quite painful, because I’ve never felt as dumb as I feel when I’m learning piano, but when Alicia left after class, I would carress the ivory keys and remind myself, I must be able to play so I can show my child what determination means. Sometimes my lil’ one will play with me too, we will compose silly songs together, or she would accompany me and drum along with the tunes I play.
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My wish is one day, both of us can play good enough so we can play side by side, like the ivory and ebony keys on our piano. πŸ™‚

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The Truth About Your Weight Gain

The first baby is always a bit of an experiment, isn’t it? I’m always weighing choices between health, economics and practicality on what to feed and supplement my baby with. It’s quite tough when there’s so many *makcik* out there trying to tell you this and that. By *makcik* I mean INFORMATION! LOL So to all the makciks’ that have been filling me in with well-meaning advice – a big thank you yeah. πŸ™‚
That besides, you’ll also come across a couple of random articles on healthy-eating that sort of jolt you up a bit on what’s great for your child and YOU.
Click and read the following article. I bet you’ll think twice about eating at McDonalds and feeding your children junkfood!
The Truth About Your Weight Gain
What really striked me is the yogurt tip. I’ve been giving little Aisyah Yo-Plait yogurt, especially the mix berries type. I find it so delicious I also curi curi makan whenever I feed her, which is on daily basis by the way!

So after reading the article I became wary of the content and figured out what ambitious ways to make yogurt for my baby. πŸ™‚ If my mom learned about my paranoia she’d probably laughed and tell me I had managed JUST fine with all the junk she fed me! So here’s to another *makcik* in the making!

the day I became MOM

Yes, I know I’ve neglected my blog for quite some time but really, time was unforgiving enough to allow me to drop a note. I have lots to share in the upcoming posts so hold on to ya horses yeah? LOL
Meanwhile, since today is Mother’s Day, I feel happy to share some of the precious photos of the day I was officially a mother. These were taken by Mr Hubby while in the surgery room when I had my caesarean delivery. While Aisyah is still too small to know what Mother’s Day meant to mothers all around, I look forward to celebrating mother’s day in future with my baby – knowing that 25th October 2009 was the day she made me feel complete. πŸ™‚

all smiles and calm while being operated!

yes, I saw what he was doing to me. Digging deep into my gut to bring out Aisyah.

Mr Hubby was surprised actually at how calm I looked that morning- but deep inside God knows how surreal everything feels. The whole night before, I couldn’t sleep, praying hard everything goes smooth. When they wheeled me into the surgery, I had a small Yassin in my right palm, and a piece of date fruit in my left, both to which I clutched dearly with all my life while the doctors were operating on me. I kept reminding my husband to swipe some of the date into Aisyah’s lips as my Prophet’s sunnah, and to recite the azan to her ears. We distracted ourselves from the whole ordeal by talking to each other while the doctors took some time to take out my baby. When I first heard her cry as she gasped her first oxygen – I was in tears! My baby, my baby! I could never erase that minute from my mind. Ever.

Welcome aboard Aisyah Nur!

my baby getting a good clean up from the womb.

first time I met Aisyah - counting all fingers and toes. πŸ™‚

literally my other half - soulmates forever!

Now that I’m a mother and realized all the sacrifice I need to endure – I feel so appreciative of my own Mom. To my Mama, I love you so much. Although Mother’s Day should be celebrated everyday, it’s great they make it momentous today so everyone could take some time to appreciate the moment this special person brings you out into this world.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you brave souls out there!

social life truth for newly post pregnant me

Today I learn the hard truth of being a new Mom.

My life post delivery was pretty much housebound except for the occassional grocery shopping and coffee with friends which doesn’t take me long from the baby. Plus most of my outings are with family so it’s easy to lug baby around because our destination are either malls, restaurants or at relatives’. Baby wasn’t a chore at all – I’m getting used to nursing her in public and doing everything related to travelling with baby. By now I’m pretty much a hands-on mom. However, come new year, Mr Hubby’s social calendar has started to fill up with invites to events and parties, and usually those are extended to couples – not the whole gang of children, nannies, maids etc. Most of these social outing requires the ladies to look extra fabulous. Although I’m nowhere near socialite status, I do make the effort to look good for events, so when Mr Hubby told me about a party tonight I wasn’t too distressed at first. I figured I’ve lost some weight so I could fit into my old frocks. Little did I know everything has expanded in size and by 7pm I was practically having a breakdown after trying numerous outfit. Nothing fits, and I should’ve bought something earlier but I was too stubborn to admit I have grown fat. I guess Mr Hubby must have gone clueless trying to reassure me that there must be something that fits my new body. Why don’t you wear one of your maternity dress? He wildly suggested and I think I did glare at him. Well, in the end I agreed to a black lycra maternity dress, and half way through make up, my baby starts wailing. Aisyah needs changing, feeding and all of a sudden she doesn’t take well to bottle so I had to nurse her direct. We had 20 minutes to rush to the event and you should’ve seen me – hair up in rollers and pins, make up half done and nursing baby. It struck me then my life has changed and my baby is priority now. I started to breathe easier and told Mr Hubby he has to go alone. Since married we’ve never gone separately to social events, but things are different now. It was the only calming solution to the present madness.

As I listened to Mr Hubby driving away, I looked at my baby, at her needy face and realised that I’d rather be with her than anywhere else. My other daughter Fatin came home an hour later and found me unchanged, still nursing. She asked me whether I was going somewhere and I explained to her the whole story.

“If I were you I would’ve been pissed. All dressed up and nowhere to go.” She concluded.
I smiled. One day when she becomes a mother she will know what to be pissed at. Right now I know I’m not pissed missing out on being socialite of the night.

Just for memory-sake looking back at 2009 – I had the most fun (eating I mean!) at this event.

which one is qahina? he he..5 month preggers with Aisyah so hiding at last right corner! he he


Oh yeah, before I forget – Happy New Year everyone! πŸ™‚

the breastfeed trivia

I don’t feel like approaching this subject but I’m quite frustrated right now. I hope those mothers who breastfeed and had similar problems could give an opinion or two.
Before I delivered, I’ve read up a lot of info on breastfeeding and was quite determined to try, regardless. It was challenging at first but I persevered – when I came back home the first week my nights were filled with Aisyah’s cluster feeding – almost every hour! She slept so well during the day but at night it was quite a problem especially for Mr Hubby – he’s got a long working day and having to put up with baby’s temperament took a toll on our discourse. While he thought that my milk wasn’t enough and pressed me to change to formula, I stubbornly declined and said it was normal. I’ve never felt this tired in my life – even the sleepless nights of my masters papers previously wasn’t this tiring. However I wanted so much to breastfeed that I put up with everything and upon my mom’s visit, I urged her to bring me to buy breastpumps. Was quite religious pumping on daily basis but like I mentioned earlier – at most I could get was 1 1/2 oz. But I kept feeding Aisyah on demand so my milk flow would be smoother. Only at nights I get agitated because not only from the fatigue, but also worried of stressing my husband.

So I decided to introduce a bit of formula to Aisyah at night, once . My paed recommended 3 types – Enfalac A+, Similac Adv. and Mamil’s Gold. I tried Enfalac and baby had constipation and colic. She took the milk well at first but by noon her colic starts. Then I stopped and brought her back to my paed. He gave me Similac lactose-free to try and I fed her that once too. The constipation stops but colic still lingered. Poor Aisyah, she’s a real sweet baby and not temperamental at all. She only cries when she’s hungry or potty. So when she got colic it was really nerve-wrecking to see her miserable. I stopped all formula and just breastfeed on demand. Sometimes I gave her both breasts if she’s still hungry.

I still pump my milk nonetheless – but never got enough amount to store or feed her fully. Whenever I meet people who can pump up to 8 oz and have a full storage of milk to feed their babies for months-stretch, I feel funny about myself. I knew by literature that every mother’s milk is enough for their child but how come I can’t pump like them? While it’s quite stupid to linger on that matter and just feed her with my breastmilk, I feel the need to supplement her with formula at times when I need to. I don’t intend to go full-front on formula but alternate it with breastmilk accordingly. I also learn that most babies were fed a variety of formula brand till they could find something suitable, but does it have to induce miserable colic, constipation, etc along the way? How do you guys cope with that?
And my milk trivia continues…