It was a heartbreaking news to many when Whitney Houston died a couple of days ago. As far as I can remember, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey topped the music charts every song they sang when I grew up, so those who were my age group especially, really felt her loss. She succumbed to first, a poor choice of husband and later, prescription drugs. Moments like these makes you wonder, does your choice of spouse really affect your life?
Many people in life make poor choices, whether it is career path, lifestyle and even a life partner. But how can a life partner be a wrong choice when it began so right? When would you know that you were so dumb to end with one – just like Whitney and Bobby? At one point we all reach this phase where we wonder how it is to wake up every morning to the same person and raise offsprings together, which basically puts people to quickly jump into the boiling heat of love and plunge into matrimony. However, when the partner begin to mould you into their mirror that’s when you realise you are slowly losing yourself to your circumstances and believe life is incomplete without the other. It’s okay to abuse drugs and rob a bank, as long as you’re together, short of saying. Love makes people do wild things, and into this wilderness you will probably discover irreconcible differences. Some would probably quit after 72 days ala Kim Kardashian. To the rest of the population, how do you subject yourself to the mismatch of expectations and indifferent gestures of your partner? Well, most women I know would just submit to society’s expectation of being the docile wife. But I also know many who think it is stronger of them to leave their circumstances and start afresh. Or having someone on the side to distract them from the truth of their marriage. So what happens to love then?
As a married woman, love is not a frequent subject in the household although you know it serves as a frame that binds one to the other. There are always bigger issues in the picture; children to raise, food to put on the table,loans and bills to pay, etc etc. While you do everything in the name of love, you’ll find yourself the most tired person in the world at 12 midnight. That’s when the other felt unnoticed and slowly slip away. Obligations and stress do tax heavily on commiting to love. Gratitude is quickly replaced with discontent. It gets very rocky from then on because whatever obligations there were will cease to exist. That’s when your right choice of spouse become the wrong choice, I guess. That’s when the other stray, and you’re left to nurse your broken heart.
Whitney did it with drugs, so did Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson, and countless others. People tend to forget that love is NOT everything. Being GRATEFUL is. As long as we are grateful for what we have, then we’ll choose better, and we’ll live better. And that MR or MISS RIGHT that once was, will always be.
Take care folks. Be grateful for your loved ones.