I don’t feel like approaching this subject but I’m quite frustrated right now. I hope those mothers who breastfeed and had similar problems could give an opinion or two.
Before I delivered, I’ve read up a lot of info on breastfeeding and was quite determined to try, regardless. It was challenging at first but I persevered – when I came back home the first week my nights were filled with Aisyah’s cluster feeding – almost every hour! She slept so well during the day but at night it was quite a problem especially for Mr Hubby – he’s got a long working day and having to put up with baby’s temperament took a toll on our discourse. While he thought that my milk wasn’t enough and pressed me to change to formula, I stubbornly declined and said it was normal. I’ve never felt this tired in my life – even the sleepless nights of my masters papers previously wasn’t this tiring. However I wanted so much to breastfeed that I put up with everything and upon my mom’s visit, I urged her to bring me to buy breastpumps. Was quite religious pumping on daily basis but like I mentioned earlier – at most I could get was 1 1/2 oz. But I kept feeding Aisyah on demand so my milk flow would be smoother. Only at nights I get agitated because not only from the fatigue, but also worried of stressing my husband.

So I decided to introduce a bit of formula to Aisyah at night, once . My paed recommended 3 types – Enfalac A+, Similac Adv. and Mamil’s Gold. I tried Enfalac and baby had constipation and colic. She took the milk well at first but by noon her colic starts. Then I stopped and brought her back to my paed. He gave me Similac lactose-free to try and I fed her that once too. The constipation stops but colic still lingered. Poor Aisyah, she’s a real sweet baby and not temperamental at all. She only cries when she’s hungry or potty. So when she got colic it was really nerve-wrecking to see her miserable. I stopped all formula and just breastfeed on demand. Sometimes I gave her both breasts if she’s still hungry.

I still pump my milk nonetheless – but never got enough amount to store or feed her fully. Whenever I meet people who can pump up to 8 oz and have a full storage of milk to feed their babies for months-stretch, I feel funny about myself. I knew by literature that every mother’s milk is enough for their child but how come I can’t pump like them? While it’s quite stupid to linger on that matter and just feed her with my breastmilk, I feel the need to supplement her with formula at times when I need to. I don’t intend to go full-front on formula but alternate it with breastmilk accordingly. I also learn that most babies were fed a variety of formula brand till they could find something suitable, but does it have to induce miserable colic, constipation, etc along the way? How do you guys cope with that?
And my milk trivia continues…

Not quite a month over confinement yet, and I’m already obsessed on how to lose these flabs around me. Due to breastfeeding, I’m not on any weight loss programme per se..nor am I on jamu or on a strict meal intake so my only other alternative is to bind myself – literally. Already I’m using the bengkung modern – one made for c-sect aftercare and I can see a miiiiild improvement but not quite there yet. I still couldn’t fit into any of my jeans. Just the other day I had the fabulous nerve to try on my baju kurung but end in tears because my bum couldn’t fit through…oh gosh, and I’m supposed to start work in a month! I guess once the initial thrill of having a baby wears off, many women gets fixated on losing their post-pregnancy weight. I’m not alone, and thank God I have friends who shared their woes with me along with solutions to it.

Yesterday, thanks to an old friend who I have not been in contact for almost 10 years (bless Facebook!) I got to know about a special undergarment made for postpartum care. If you noticed in my previous post I’ve bought myself an abdominal binder which really helps but I need something extra to help support my thigh areas too. My mom told me to get Beautiful Lingerie (another intimate apparel for body contour) but I was advised to consider it 6 months after for fear of breaking my incision wounds etc. I made a call to the sales rep that my friend had introduced and they both came by today for me to try on the caesarean support girdle. There are 5 sizes to accommodate – and I’m a size 2. When I had it on it felt good on my skin – it was lightweight, covers all the essential part and it wasn’t as expensive as I thought. I could wear this everyday and was told many people gone down to their pre-pregnancy size in matters of weeks, well, ok that’s a tall order but I could settle for a few short months! They had the product featured in the Pa&Ma December issue (page 27) and well, I was convinced enough.

If you think it looks like any commercial girdle you can find in stores, it’s not. Now I’m having it on and going around my routines feeling very comfortable. I don’t know how my own results would turn out yet but watch this space for more feedback yeah; I will give my own testimonial after 2 weeks. Meanwhile, if you’re interested in the same product you can contact Sajaratul Ambar (+6019 2273657) who’s representing Alpha-Health, the sole Malaysian distributor for DesignVeronique Maternity. (click on the link to view more products)
I’m a firm believer in usaha tangga kejayaan… he he. Wish me luck!

Now that I’m in another phase of life, I feel the need to revamp some stuff – like my blog for example. In Qahina’s Words (my old blog title) would still exists but with a new header I suppose. I still like a white background, I find it easier on the eyes. When will the new header turns up? Well, that is subject to pending lack of creativity, but till then, please hold on to this temporary theme.

Hm…I’m still adjusting to babyhood and motherhood. Can’t remember my last good night sleep since I gave birth? Anyone?

Although this pic was sometime ago…(now Aisyah is almost a month old) I would like to dedicate this post to my gynae, Dr Patrick Chia of FMGC. Even during surgery (while I was conscious and watching everything) he talked and joked with me to keep me calm. At the end of the ordeal, I still managed to tell him – ‘Make sure you stitch me nicely!’ and he replied ‘don’t worry, I give you a Hollywood scar.’ Well, Hollywood or not, he is still a great doctor.

Mr Hubby asked me to keep photos of all our recent development because the baby will grow so fast, and hopefully – the Mommy will slim down as fast too! he he…I bet some people can’t even stomach their post-partum photos..depressing huh? LOL I’m not depressed just yet – more motivated to eat and feel and look better from day to day especially whenever I see my baby’s face. I know all that pain is worth it.

One thing that I was determined to follow after giving birth was a proper pantang ritual. Sadly, after ceasarian birth and breastfeeding, many things were limited to just proper diet. No massage, no bengkung (a traditional abdominal binder wrap made of 6m cloth), just a bit of tungku here and there, no jamu, air akar kayu, etc… my mind began to wonder ceaseless when would I be able to get my figure back. Right after birth, I was fortunate enough to meet some friendly nurse who introduced me to a special bengkung for post-abdominal surgery patients.

Image taken from dalemed.com
(Minus that urine drip) I think this is literally godsent for caesarian wounds because it expedites recovery – whenever you walk or talk or cough, even laugh…you don’t have to hold your tummy for fear you might induce complication to your stitches. I don’t know how much it costs outside but I paid the nurse RM160 for it. The binder seems to help reduce that post-surgery paunch. Well, it’s been only 3 weeks since I gave birth and I don’t expect miracles ala Heidi Klum abs, but I can feel my tums looking slightly flatter than the 5 month-preggy-look I was lugging around 5 days after I came out of hospital.

The lactation nurse at Pantai Hospital also reassured me with breastfeeding I would reduce my uterus to its normal size and lose weight naturally so I’ve been quite religious and punctual in breastfeeding my baby. I noticed that I don’t have milk leaking or dripping out like some of my friends do and when I pump I only managed to get 1 oz or 1 1/2 oz at most (if I’m lucky) so am quite hesistant to introduce formula milk to Aisyah but I guess when the supply dries up I have to cross that bridge someday. I’m not even being judgemental about those who breastfeed over those who don’t because milk supply is subjective, and would feed my baby accordingly. Other than that my pantang is only confined to my food intake – boiled oats in the morning, hot milo and crackers in between meals, white rice with steamed or fried fish or chicken with bits of sawi here and there..yeah, and that’s about it. It’s boring as hell but as long as my wounds recover well and no drugs trespass my breastmilk, I’m quite content for now.
Remember some Chinese herbs I had featured previously? I put them aside for a while – Aisyah had a bit of a diarrhea when I started taking those herbs so I stopped. Was thinking I will consume my jamu, herbal drinks etc after baby is more stable – like after pantang.

My mom says can only massage after a month – hmm…can’t wait! I feel my whole body needs a whole lotta TLC after birth-trauma!

I know she won’t understand it yet, but this is what I hum to her everyday …

My baby. Finally.
On 25th October, 8.30 am, I gave birth to a healthy 6.6 pounds baby girl. I was on epidural, concious from waist up and saw the whole surgery through the reflection of the lamps above me. I saw how my baby was practically ‘plucked out’ from my gut – it was worth everything when I heard her first cry. Mr Hubby was next to me all throughout – a definite warm comfort. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. They showed me the baby – she was perfect! I couldn’t ask for more.

I would like to wish to all, my deepest thank you for your kind wishes and visits. Now I’m at home recuperating and learning the ropes of breastfeeding my baby. Will update whenever I’m fit. Stay tuned…

It’s every new mom’s dream to provide the best crib for their newborn…I wish to decorate the baby’s room into a lovely nursery, bring my baby to my new home on her first day but here I am stuck amidst the moving boxes of our rented house. I think Mr Hubby has been unbelievably kind and strong on my behalf by reassuring me that it will soon passed. Had a long chat with a friend last night and seems like we shared the same problem with our house renovation. Yes, indeed, both of us are like headless chicken now (bertempiaran all over the place trying to solve our home reno probs before year end).. by being stuck with very slow contractors. My house is not that big – it’s just an old semi D but we fell in love with the space and the location, which is in the middle of KL with all the right road access. It took us almost 1 year to get DBKL’s approval, and by the time we hired our contractor, he promised us another 6 months. Plus minus, it’s been a 2 years of long wait..even our children got tired of us talking about it. But seriously, I hope they would understand and love the home as much as we do.

Initially, my contractor has included kitchen and interior designs in the plan, but due to his delayed work I’ve scraped the ID and kitchen designs so he can complete the physical structure of my house faster while Mr Hubby and I personally search for ID and kitchen people. I’ve actually hired Casa Impian once out of my naivety for better ID and their so-called ‘reputation’ but wasn’t happy with their sloooow service, so figured to do it on my own. I’ve bought tonnes of design books out of excitement but every time I saw the delayed house work..my spirit just crashed a little. To sort things out faster, we’ve settled with Signature Kitchen at Taman Tun and guess what, my friend also enquired for the same service a few weeks earlier! What a small world eh? They say Signature Kitchen is a tad expensive but I like the storage compartments they offer. I’ve seek other kitchen designers and their price is ridiculous. Plus, Signature has what I wanted for my kitchen look – all classic and timeless white! Mr Hubby wanted something modern at first but I told him since I’m the one going to spend time there, I want something cosy. This is similar to what I had in mind:

img taken from imagedecorweb.

This is a hard one to write about.
When my cats – Sultan and Suri gave birth to 3 lovely kitties, we were ecstatic because we’ve kept them since they were kittens and get to watch them develop as parents. Suri as usual are so loving to her litters, and she’s not awfully protective of them when we picked the kitties for inspections, etc… However, as the kittens grow they become quite a hazard to first: me..because being pregnant doctors don’t allow me to get near cats in case of toxoplasma infection, and second: our problems with various maids affect the quality of their care. We have 6 cats to take care of and it was becoming too much – with food, sand and litter. It was only fair to let the cats go to better caretakers, no matter how much we love them. We seek the help of my nephew Murshid to advertise them on the Internet and within a few days, we managed to get a couple of interested buyers. Last night was the fateful farewell of Suri, Sultan and their kittens.

Suri and her kittens

memories of Sultan

However, we still keep Rajah. It was our only penawar hati.

my last and only cat for now